i am so angryy. so irritated. so full of hatred. untill i cant get to work. yahh. and i nid a place to vent my anger. my emotions. my feelins. yes. here. i am so sick of u. so sick. so sick.sick and tired. of seeing u. takin awae. ALL my tings. ALL. and i mean ALL. wad exactly is ur problem. whie are u liddat. werent we suppose to be best friend. come on la. i am tryin so hard. to let all this feelings to be drained awae. and yet. the sight of u. make me cringe. and all the crap i am feelin comes back. automaticalli. wad do u wann. from me. wad exactly do u wan. jus tell me straight intoo my face. don act stupid in front of me. u jolly well noe. i am avoiding u. YES. I AM AVOIDING. but whie mus u be so fake. fake. fake. yahh. act as if nothing had happened. n yi siao er guo. fine. i feel sinful. bad. extremely. putting up an act in front of u. under the cheerful facade. is the hypocritical me. there are pent up feelings. all against u. yet. u choose to evade. wah. ur smile realli. made me feel as if i am the most cruel devil on earth. or shud i sae. in hell. guilty. i am full of sin. yahh. fine its all my fault then. wad do u wann. whie don u confront me. whie. don u scold me. whie. mus u pretend as if u don feel anithingg. maybe there are misunderstandings. that nid to be resolve before things aggravate. whie cant u approach. thats wad i dislike abt u. yahh. u mind. but yet. u hide. fine den. go be ur good angel. i am a bad girl. realli bad one. but nvm. even if u come, i oso wont noe wad to sae. see. i am ALWAYS lousier. in EVERYTHING. yeah. u win. i am happy for u. i feel inferior. inferior complex. u haf beta character. well liked. wealthy. excel in everything. fantastic leadership qualities. academically inclined. mersmerising. more eloquent. more everything larh. u haf everything i once haf. u haf ur best frend. whom was once mine. u haf herr to love u. when i once haf that speacial someone. u haf ur loving family members. who cares so much for u. but me. someone who can even communicate wif my parents properly. or shud i sae. don haf the time. and energy. okay. and i am jus an ugly duckling with all this ugly feelins hidden in the deepest end of my hart. i noe. and i surrender to fate.. there is nothing much i can change. all this. is jus to let u noe. u are more fortunate than me. i reali hope u will noe how to cherish. but whie. when i wan to cherish sumone dearly. now. n you. yet you are the one walking beside her. happily. nvm. u wont noe the feelin. and i duwan to use ur herr to spite u. it will be like marking a red mark into my report card for CME. i am not goin to do tt. so yahh. i haf decided to sacrifise the frendship. jus in case. u think tt i unds herr more then u do. forget it la. i am not goin to fight wif u. i am so used to seein u waitin at the busstop for her. watchin at a distance. lettin that sight break my heart into pieces. silently. i haf no strength to fight back my overwhelmin emotions. becos they had all transform to hatred. and jealousy. no one sees this ugly me. except for myself. i hate to admit it. but sumtimes. there's no way i can hide. i don wan to feel this way. but it jus comes naturally. i wan to be no where near u. so that i cant be reminded that i am a person who is so far awae compare to u. sigh. nvm. i am nothing. jus nothing. insignificant. nvm. u win. there is alwaes a winner and a loser. u are alwaes the winner. forget it. i lose. i suck la. you rock.
hai. shi tai ler. =x